I receive each new emission from the Right as I would a faceful of jism from a deranged orc stroking his diseased member and howling, "Respeck mah authoritah!"
Meanwhile the Left has descended past parody into a cannibalistic snakepit, viciously prosecuting ever more baroque and paranoid variants of Thought Crime.
My contempt for the one is boundless, my betrayal by the other unforgivable.
My every interest exposes me to moral hazard. My ideology is suspect, my thoughts impure. My opinions are unhygienic, my attitude poor. I will not be judged by you. I do not assent, I will not conform, I do not care.